Irresistable Love JAX AND TARA
by skriley316
Summary: Jax and Tara's love starting with them in high school! Some of them may be entirely made up... Some will be along with the story line of the show... I do not own Sons of Anarchy, although a woman can dream... Please R & R -Rated M for language and random mature chapters
1. Chapter 1

****A/N: This is placed during their Junior year of high school****

**TARA POV**

Jax had dragged me to another stupid party at some popular bitch's house. There was all kinds of alcohol there, along with pot. I never smoked, but I've had my fair share of drinks, but none of the equivalent of Jax's normal intake. We had been together for 8 months, and by together, we literally were together every single day since he asked me to "be his old lady"... I liked his club. It was fun and all the guys were great, especially Opie. Jax, Opie, and I had become the three musketeers. At this party, we were sitting outside around the bonfire. When I got up to get Jax and I another beer, I saw all the girls eying Jax. I went to return to my seat when there was a girl sitting in my spot, putting her grubby paws all over Jax, then leaned in for a kiss... Jax kissed the stupid slut back. I was buzzed, and pissed, which was never a good combination. I got so jealous. He kissed a bitch right in front of me. It was game on from that point. David Hale, the town's deputy's son was standing by keg when I just dropped the bottles of beer, and looked at Opie, giving him a quick second of eye contact. Then I smirked and gave David a big kiss, then walked off out front. I noticed Opie nearly choke on his beer then tell Jax, "Your girl just kissed Davey." I made it to the middle of the front yard of the bitch's house before I heard Jax run out to me.

"_Tara, what the hell! You kissed that asshole?"_

"_You kissed that dumb slut?"_

"_She kissed me! It was just an innocent return."_

"_Mine and David's kiss was innocent too. I'm so sick of constantly having to swat away all the girls from you. I get it, I'm no bleach blonde with a huge ass and huge tits, with all the right curves. You're with the wrong girl Jax!"_

"_Babe stop it... And quit it down."_

"_I really hate you right now."_

"_Oh do you now?"_

"_Yep, I sure do."_

I started to stumble my way down the sidewalk, with him following behind me.

"_Come on Tara, let me drive you home."_

"_I'll walk home just fine. I don't want anything to do with you."_

"_You don't mean that."_

"_Since you willingly kissed her, yes I do."_

"_You kissed Davey! We're equal."_

"_No. We aren't... I have about 100 kisses left before we are equal."_

He was following me down the sidewalk when we saw headlights coming down the street. We were out past curfew, so we jumped into a bush when the car stopped, and a flashlight flashed onto us.

"_Ahh, isn't it Charming's favorite delinquents... Teller, Knowles, come on... Get out of the bush."_

We looked at each other.

"_Jax, this is so your fault."_

I followed Jax out. There was Unser.

"_Are you two drunk? Y'all are only 17, and you both reek of booze. I'm calling your parents."_

Jax sighed.

"_Wayne, come on... Gemma will kill me."_

"_Yeah, my dad is gonna smack me."_

"_Whether you two like it or not, you're coming to the station with me. You both are getting booked. Then we can figure out the rest from there."_

"_This is bullshit... After all Clay does for you?"_

"_Chief Unser... Please don't."_

This sucked.

"_I've given both of you many chances. Public intoxication is the last straw."_

I punched Jax in the arm before we sat in the back of Unser's car, pouting like a bunch of two year olds in time out. Gemma was gonna light our asses up when she'd get the call to bail us out. I just wanted to sleep. When we got to the police station, Unser made me and Jax go into the same holding cell. We were too tired, and our buzzes were wearing off, so we laid down on the hard jail bed, and went to sleep after getting booked in.

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	2. Chapter 2

****A/N: I decided to make this an actual story instead of a bunch of oneshots... I'll edit the story description soon. Enjoy!****

**JAX POV**

I woke up the next morning with Tara sprawled out on top of me. We were still in jail. I couldn't believe she kissed David... That was her boyfriend before I was around, but thankfully I was still her first... She told me how David was really possessive, and talked to much about the "future" that he involved her in. He had a plan that they'd get married straight out of high school, he'd become a cop, they'd own a ranch and Tara would be a stay at home mom for their 5 or 6 kids. God, thinking of 6 kids coming out of Tara made me queasy. But I would be the only man she'd sleep with... I'd be the father of her children, and I'd be the only man to marry her. We joked about that a lot. She'd be some baby doctor and I'd be a mechanic. It seemed to be a pretty decent plan, but we weren't going to rush to marriage or kids. Everything else we rushed... We had sex the second week we were together, and it was almost nightly since then... We'd sleep in bed every night together, much to our parents' protests. Although most of the time, Tara's dad was too drunk to function, so it never mattered. It was Gemma on the other hand. It had been a year since she married Clay, and he knew his boundaries as a stepdad. I grew up with him always around. He was my dad's best friend. Things between Gemma and J.T got rough after my baby brother passed, and my dad was gone a lot. Clay was always there to comfort mom. She wasn't all too torn up when my dad died. I was though. I got shitfaced and baked daily for about 4 months. Then Gemma threatened to send me to military school. I sobered up, started to pay somewhat attention in class, and get my life back together. That was until I noticed how sexy Tara was one day. She just had something about her that the other girls didn't. Then since being with Tara, my life was totally changed. Gemma was okay with most of it though. Tara kept me in line- at least when she was sober. Tara started to stir and wake up. She sighed when she realized where we were.

"_How bad did I get last night?"_

"_Do you really not remember anything?"_

"_Last thing I remember was taking three consecutive shots with you and Ope."_

"_That cheerleader Ima kissed me last night... You got pissed and kissed Davey."_

"_Oh shit... He's never gonna let me live it down tomorrow at school."_

"_You're more worried about David then the fact we were arrested?"_

"_Oh yeah... How'd that happen?"_

"_You were stumbling down the sidewalk... I tried to get you to let me drive you home... Unser came up the street... We jumped into a bush but he knew it was us anyways."_

"_Gemma's gonna kill us."_

"_Nah... It'll be okay. She'll be more mad that we got caught, not of what we actually did. Do you still hate me?"_

"_I never said that."_

"_You told me last night 'I hate you so much right now'... It was actually funny 'cause you were pouting."_

"_I was too drunk. I didn't mean that shit..."_

"_Unser walked by earlier when you were still asleep. Gemma's gonna be down here in 30 minutes... With Clay and Bobby."_

"_Mmm, they may as well invite all of Charming to bail us out."_

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	3. Chapter 3

**TARA POV**

Unser led Clay, Bobby, and Gemma back to mine and Jax's jail cell where we were playing cards. They all started laughing.

"_Well if it isn't our baby drunkies playing a peaceful game of go fish." _Gemma laughed.

"_Son, I never thought someone could be so level headed with his girl in jail. Unser said they haven't heard you fight once since he brought you in last night." _Jax just chuckled at Clay and put the cards away.

"_Hey princey, did you guys have any jail sex? With each other of course, not with other inmates..."_ Bobby laughed and I felt my cheeks get to a hot red. Gemma smiled again. They were having too much fun with this.

"_Well Tara, I signed your bond, and since Jax has more of a record than you, his bail was more so Clay and Bobby each took half. You guys know how this is getting paid back? Cooking at the clubhouse and every other night at my house for the next month."_

"_Mom... I can pay you guys back- for both of us."_

"_Now that wouldn't be fun, would it? We don't want money, we like to see what two 17 year olds think is a good enough meal for a MC... And of course for Clay's picky eating and my preciseness with how I like the food to be made and displayed."_

"_Gemma, we have final exams coming up... We need to study if we're going to make it to senior year."_

"_Good thing there are tables in kitchens. Study while you guys cook. Don't forget the dishes."_

Unser unlocked our cell, and we got our stuff and walked out.

"Oh, love birds, we got Jax's bike from the little slut's house this morning. You guys are welcome for that too." Clay tossed Jax the keys to his bike, and we all walked out.

"_Tara, let's wait for a bit. Until they leave. I need to talk to you."_

"_Okay baby..."_

We watched as they all rode off.

"_I have a question to ask you... And feel free to say no."_

"_I'd like to know the question first."_

"_You know the crow my mom has tattooed on her chest?"_

"_Yeah... She flaunts that off."_

"_Well, it's the tattoo you get when you're a members old lady. It has the same meaning as a wedding ring, if not more."_

"_She's mentioned it before."_

"_Tara I want you to get that tattooed for me. I want you to be my old lady."_

"_Jax, I still have 3 months until I'm 18. They won't tattoo me until I'm old enough."_

"_You're worried about the age, and not the fact I'm asking you to be my old lady? It's a permanent thing babe... The ink is forever in your skin."_

"_Why would I be worried about being your old lady?"_

"_We've only been together for 8 months."_

"_We had sex the second week we were together. We don't have the normal, stereotypical relationship."_

"_A tattoo guy, not far from my house, he's the club's friend. He'll do it for you."_

"_Where am I getting it?"_

"_Well where do you want it?"_

"_Somewhere not noticeable for a bit... Not everyone has to know right away."_

"_Lower back babe... Totally tramp stamp the crow... It'll be so hot."_

"_Seriously?"_

"_Yes... You'll be able to hide it in your shirts..."_

"_Okay fine."_

"_We're making history babe."_

"_History?"_

"_No one has ever gotten the crow this young... You're gonna be stuck to me."_

"_You make it seem like a bad thing..."_

"_God I love you Tara."_

"_I love you too. Now let's go get this tattoo before I chicken out."_

Jax handed me his helmet as we rode off to the tattoo parlor together. God, what were we getting ourselves into?

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	4. Chapter 4

**TARA POV**

The next morning after getting my tattoo, we were showering for school. Jax was of course showering with me... His excuse? I didn't know how to shower without messing up the wrap of a new tattoo. That didn't stop his hands from roaming to other places than my lower back. We got out when Gemma banged on the bathroom door saying that she had breakfast ready for us, and that we needed to get to the clubhouse right after school to start cooking for the club. Jax got his pants on and went to his room for a shirt to wear. I had my pants and bra on when I realized I forgot a shirt. I wrapped my hair up in a towel, and walked out to the dresser, bending over to look inside for the right shirt. Gemma walked straight in. I knew I was busted. Then immediately following Gemma was Jax...

"_Shit..."_

"_Morning Gemma. What's up?"_

"_Got a tattoo there, don't ya?"_

"_Mom I asked her to get my crow..."_

"_That's wrong Jackson... You both are too young."_

Of course she'd be against it.

"_Gemma, from what Jax has told me, you got it at the same age I did."_

She smirked at us both.

"_Yeah, if I rape kids, are you going to do that too?"_

"_Gemma... It's not like that... I'm ready to be Jax's old lady."_

"_You have no clue what it takes."_

"_I think I do..."_

I got my shirt on and grabbed my backpack, heading down the stairs to eat some breakfast while Jax finished getting ready. Gemma's heels resonated throughout the house until they were right next to me.

"_I'm not saying that to be ugly... You two are still so young... Jax isn't ready to stick to one girl. He nails crow eaters all the time."_

I nearly choked on my toast.

"_What?"_

"_It's the sad truth, honey."_

That stupid son of a bitch. I jumped up from my chair and sprinted up to our room.

"_Why did you have me get the damn crow if you're cheating on me?!"_

"_This is my life Tara... Why do you care if I get serviced by random chicks? I still come home to you every night. This is the life, this is the club... It's a free pass."_

"_You can't be serious! Are you hearing what bullshit is coming out of your big mouth? Does your brain comprehend it, you immature little shit! I'm your woman, me!"_

I couldn't control my temper. I started smacking his chest, making him move back and back until he was against the wall.

"_All I need is for you to get some skanky, nasty disease and bring it home to me!"_

"_Tara, babe, I wear protection!"_

I couldn't believe it... He really wasn't getting any of this. I was shocked speechless.

"_Look Tara... Until we are married, you don't have a say over what I do... or who I do."_

I felt tears stinging my eyes.

"_How can you..."_

"_I'm young Tara. I'm not ready to be committed to one woman."_

"_Well fuck you too Jackson. I can't believe I got anything associated with you inked into my body! When you get home from school, all my shit is gonna be gone."_

"_Tara..."_

"_Too late. You're gonna get what you want. You don't want to be tied down, you don't have to me. I'll just move back in permanently with my drunk dad... Let him have his way with me... Better yet, I'll_ _move in with David again. At least he loved me. He's up for being with one woman."_

"_Don't you dare..."_

"_Or what? You gonna hit me? My dad already does it enough... Gonna cheat on me to get under my skin? You already have, multiple times... We're so done."_

"_Fine then... I don't want you anyways!"_

"_Clearly!"_

I wiped away the tears and grabbed the big suitcase I had at their house, cramming as much of my shit in there as could fit, then walked out of the house, down the 2 blocks to my dad's house. The cutlass was gone, which meant he either sobered up enough to go to work, or he went for another liquor run. Either way, I would not be going back to Charming High with that dick head there. I sent Gemma a quick text.

_"I'll drop my bail amount off at your house around lunch time. You can't bully me into doing dirty work for you or the club. Especially if it's involving your son."_

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	5. Chapter 5

**JAX POV**

I slept with three crow eaters last night... None of them felt or tasted as good as Tara did. I was mad at myself for saying what I did to her yesterday. She wasn't at school today, and Opie was getting mad that I didn't want to make up with her. She was the one that called it quits. Not me. Opie and I were in my room playing video games when his phone started to vibrate off the hook.

"_Really Ope?"_

"_Hold on..." _He paused the game to read his texts.

**OPIE POV**

"_Opie... I need you to meet me behind the school."_

"_You can't tell Jax though, he can't know."_

"_Please Opie... I really need some help._

I looked back up at Jax.

"_Sorry brother. I gotta go. Piney wants us to have dinner with my mom in Sacramento."_

"_Seriously? Don't leave me, I'll be bored."_

"_I'll come back after, relax."_

"_See ya."_

I got onto my Harley and rode to the back of the school. Tara was sitting in her Cutlass, in a big hoodie, with her hair all messy. I walked up to the car, and she rolled her window down.

"_Tara, you do realize it's May... Why the hell are you wearing a hoodie? It's hotter than the gates of Hell out."_

"_That's what I wanted you to come here for."_

"_What happened? Are you okay?"_

"_I was attacked last night... By David... I went to stay with him... We started to get intimate... I had to get my mind of Jax... He gave me a hickey... But then he saw I got a tattoo... Then he saw it was a SOA crow... We got Jax's name put on one of the wings... He got really angry that I was using him... He ripped the wrapping off of it, and smacked my lower back as hard as he could. It all started to bleed again I got dressed again and ran back home. My dad was passed out on the couch, drunk like always. My back started to bruise all around the tattoo. Well this morning when I was getting ready for school, I went to the kitchen to cook some breakfast. Dad came in to get some tequila... He saw the hickey on my neck and got really pissed... He grabbed a hold of my arm really hard, and punched me in the stomach and ribs- repeatedly. I have bruises all up my arm, and down the sides of my ribs"_

"_Jesus Christ Tara... Jax needs to know... The club needs to take care of it."_

"_No Opie... Jax can't know. It wouldn't matter to him anyways what happened to me, we're broken up. He said he was too young for one woman."_

"_Just because he said it, doesn't mean he meant it. He loves you Tara. And he protects you a lot... It was just a fight you guys had."_

"_Yeah, well tell that to him."_

"_He knows it. But he really does need to know about this... Can I see the bruises?"_

_She took the hoodie off, which she was just wearing a sports bra on underneath, but it wasn't weird. I've seen both her and Jax naked when they passed out drunk on the clubhouse floor. She had deep black and purple bruises that were yellowing in some parts. I knew she bruised easily, but these were really bad."_

"_Jax is just going to lecture me... That I should have stayed at the house... That I deserved what was coming."_

"_Okay, he's not an ass like that... He still loves you Tara. He'd protect you with everything he's got."_

"_He's gonna hate me, but fine, tell him."_

I called him up.

"_Jax... I'm with Tara behind the school... Yes, she is fine... Well kind of... She was attacked. By David last night, then her dad beat the hell out of her this morning. She's bruising pretty bad and was afraid to tell you. Dude, you should see the bruising she had around the crow. It's really bad. She's scared of you now Jax. She doesn't want to be hurt again by you... I knew I was right."_

I hung up with him then looked at her.

"_He's on his way... He said he's really sorry and that he's going to make it up to you."_

"_I don't want him to do anything to or for me. Once my skin heals, I'm getting the tattoo removed. Then I'm going to finish up high school and go to medical school."_

"_Tara, you can't do that to us."_

"_It's my future... My future he chose to not be a part of."_

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	6. Chapter 6

**TARA POV**

Opie was sitting in the Cutlass with me as we waited for Jax to get there.

"_I don't understand why I should be waiting for him. We aren't together anymore. He told me yesterday he never truly wanted me." _I was trying to not get upset.

"_Okay, you and I both know he's got a bad temper, but he says stupid shit he never means. He's never been with any girl for more than a night besides you, so that says something."_

"_How many sluts did he fuck last night?"_

"_Tara..."_

"_I know it's more than one... How many? I know how he is. He takes his frustrations out in hot sex."_

"_I only saw two, but I think there was a third at some point."_

"_See? I tried one guy, and he smacked the hell out of my lower back 'cause of that damn crow I got."_

"_If you're so against the crow, why'd you even get it?"_

"_Jax loved me then... At least he told me he did. Sad thing is, without a doubt, I'd do anything for him, no matter what. But he'd never do that for me. He's too busy sleeping with hoes now. If he loved me, he would have never let me just walk out yesterday. He would have been there to protect me from my father."_

"_He's young and stupid Tara... He doesn't realize what he's doing before it's too late..."_

"_Hell, the next time I could be raped or beaten to death. Then what?"_

"_He's gonna make it up to you, you just need to give him the chance."_

"_Jax doesn't deserve it. He crushed my heart."_

"_And you haven't crushed his before?"_

"_No Ope! I'm not a whore like Jax! I actually loved him!"_  
I was too caught up into the conversation, since when I looked out my window, Jax was standing there, and he looked devastated, even though he was trying to cover it up. I got out of the car, lifting the hoody up to show him the bruises.

"_Jesus Tara..."_

"_It's no big deal, I bruise easily."_

"_That's more than easy bruising. I give you small bruises when we have sex... These are deep tissue, more than forced type of bruises. I'm gonna kill them."_

"_Jax, no! You aren't going to do anything."_

"_They can't get away with hurting you Tara! Do they not understand that? You are my girl! No one can hurt you!"_

"_Okay, for one, stop yelling. You're just making things worse. Two, I'm not your girl anymore. I don't share my guys with anyone. And three, I can take the physical abuse, but the hurt you give me... I can't... I can take many beatings from my dad, but you saying what you did... You fucking all those other bitches, that's the worst kind of hurt I could ever experience."_

"_Tara, baby, I'm sorry. I really am. Please let me make it up to you. I heard what you said.. About the rape until the end when you noticed me standing there. I have been a man whore... I'm such a stupid, arrogant prick. And I never meant any of the shit I said. If you just give me a chance to make it up to you, I promise my dick won't get outside of my pants unless you're there and it's going into you."_

"_It's not just the sex... The flirting, the taunting, the kissing back when they kiss you, checking them out when they walk by... All that shit needs to stop. I know I'm not a blonde... I don't have a big ass or big tits... I'm not your ideal shape. But if you really want to be with me so bad, you'll have to settle with what I have to offer."_

"_I don't need huge anything. You are so perfect to me... If it makes you feel better, I tried with three girls last night... None of them felt any where near as good as you do."_

"_I don't want to know how it was... I don't want to hear about you whoring around."_

"_Tara, just please. We can get away for a few days... I'll make it up to you... You're my one and only... You're my old lady... You even got the crow. Here... I was gonna save this for a bit longer, but this is my lifeline..."_

He fiddled around in his pocket, and Opie got out of the car, leaning against the hood as he watched us go back and forth. He pulled out a ring box and opened it as he dropped to one knee.

"_Jax... Don't do this."_

"_I know I said I was too young for one girl... That was the hugest lie... I know we're young still, but you're my old lady now. You have my crow. We don't have to get married right away, but I need it to be in the works. I love you, every bit of you. I promise I'll love and protect you forever... Will you please marry me?"_

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I nodded, so he slid the beautiful ring onto my finger. That was probably the nicest he's been to me since we got together. Opie clapped and hugged both of us.

"_Now, you happy couple, get out of town for a few days. I'll pick up the slack. Jax, I have a few things packed for you to take."_

"_Yeah Jax, I'll just go to my dad's and pack real quick. He's probably passed out on the couch."_

"_I'm coming with you."_

"_No Jax, I'm fine, okay? I promise. I need to shower anyways. I'll be at the clubhouse in an hour or so, okay? I love you."_

"_I love you too Tara... Never forget it."_

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	7. Chapter 7

**JAX POV**

I was waiting at the clubhouse for Tara... An hour had passed like she said, but she wasn't there... Soon it got to be two hours, still nothing. I got worried so I rode over to her dad's house and knocked on the door. Her dad answered.

"_Hey, um, is Tara home?"_

"_Piss off you white trash piece of shit."_

He went to slam the door in my face, but my foot blocked him from shutting it. He growled and lunged at me, knocking me down onto the ground. He stood over me, reeking of liquor and body odor, and I noticed his knuckles were starting to bruise... Holy shit, he got Tara.

"_I told you stay the hell away! From here and from the little bitch!"_

I heard Tara scream for me. Her dad turned to walk back inside when I knocked his knees out from under him, then once he fell face forward, I grabbed his head by his hair and slammed his face into the porch a few good times, before running inside. Tara was in a heap on the kitchen floor, beaten up and bloody. There was literally blood everywhere. Shirt, pants, face...

"_Baby are you okay?"_

"_Jax... It hurts... Everything hurts... Oh my god..."_

_She could barely even keep her eyes open._

"_I'm gonna get you to the hospital. I have to call an ambulance."_

"_No Jax... They take my dad away... Please no..."_

"_TARA! You're barely conscious... We're getting you to the hospital, and your dad will be on his way to jail..."_

"_Please no Jax... He didn't mean it... He was just mad..."_

"_I'm not talking to you about this anymore. I'll be right back."_

I called 911 and told them the situation and that Tara needed to get rushed to the hospital. I got a random blanket and wrapped her up in it, holding her in my arms as the ambulance arrived. I set her on the stretcher and rode to the hospital with her, after seeing the cops pick her dad up off the porch, loading him into a squad car. When we got to the hospital, they rushed Tara back for tests and everything. I had called Gemma to tell her what had happened and that she needs to go with Clay and pack up her entire room and bring it to our place. A nurse came out to talk to me.

"_Ms. Knowles is in a lot of pain, but she's going to be okay. Three broken ribs and some internal bleeding from her stomach that will keep her here over night to monitor. Mr. Teller, your girlfriend suffered a miscarriage. From the development of her uterus, she seemed to be about 6-7 weeks along. I'm so sorry. She's very upset right now and keeps asking for you. Other cuts and stuff are cleaned up with some gauze and bandaids. She just got some pain meds, so you probably have thirty minutes or so to talk to her before she falls asleep."_

"_T-Thank you."_

She was pregnant?! She never told me! I walked back to her room, and she was just sitting there crying. I got into the bed next to her and held her hand gently.

"_What caused all this, babe?"_

"_The ring..."_

"_Jesus... Tara, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry."_

"_Our baby... I lost our baby."_

"_Tara I didn't even know you were pregnant. Christ, if I did, I would've never let you be anywhere near your psychopath father."_

"_I'm so sorry Jax... I was going to tell you... But then we got into that fight and split..."_

"_He's gonna be in jail for assault and for fetus abuse, and 2nd degree murder. God, I'm gonna have Big Otto ass rape him for every meal in prison."_

"_Jax please..."_

"_He killed our child! We'll never know if it was a boy.. a girl.. if it looked like its mother.. or its father.. we don't even get to name it!"_

She was sobbing. I had to lay off a bit... I held her as close as I could without hurting her and I wiped her tears, carefully of her bruised and busted face.

"_Once I heal Jax... I'll give you another child.. I'm so sorry..."_

"_It's not your fault Tara... I'm so glad you're safe... I love you so much... I'll stay right here, okay? I'm not leaving your side until you get discharged tomorrow, then I can take care of you from home. Gemma and Clay are packing your things right now. We're gonna share my room... That way I can hold you and protect you at night."_

"_I love you Jax... You're the only reason for me living..."_

"_I can say the same about you... You're amazing... So strong and beautiful even in bad times."_

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	8. Chapter 8

**JAX POV**

Tara and I spent the next week just hanging out me and her. Tara was taking it all really hard, so I had to be her strength when she was weak. Her ribs were healing well, but the emotional scars of losing the baby were way worse. She couldn't stop crying. When I had told Gemma and Opie about the attack and miscarriage, they were so worried for her. They wanted to help out as much as possible, but Tara just wanted me. I was feeling so helpless. I couldn't make her happy. We spent my 18th birthday at the clubhouse, but as soon as the party started up, and all the crow eaters started to show up, she had just completely melted down again in one of the apartments in the place, so I took her home. If I needed to do things, I'd have Opie come sit with her at my parents' house while I was taking care of stuff. That's how I got to selling all her dad's stuff, and the Cutlass. He hoarded everything, so he had some really high value items. I saved all her mom's jewelry though, but anything that wasn't trash got sold. We had enough to get us a home, and Tara a silver jeep, plus the biggest gift I could ever give her right now- closure. I had finished the final touches to the rooms in our house when I picked her up from the restaurant her and Gemma were eating at in one of Gemma's SUVs.

"_Hey beautiful. How was lunch?"_

"_Here- I didn't even eat half. You can have it." She handed me her to-go box._

"_Babe, you need to start to eat normal again. You're just getting skinnier and skinnier."_

"_So?"_

"_It's not healthy. Anyways, I have something I'd like to show you, maybe it can help you."_

"_How can you stay so happy? We lost our baby..."_

"_Tara... The last thing I am is happy about anything of what happened... I grieve differently than you. Plus, I have to be strong for both of us. I've had my fair share of moments, just not in front of you. You can ask Opie or my mom."_

"_Oh... Sorry."_

We pulled up at the cemetery, next to my little brother's grave and the covered one next to his. I got the hot-wheels out of the trunk, along with the 3 dozen of flowers.

"_Can you help me take these cars out of the package? These were Tommy's favorite toys when he passed."_

She sighed and took two of them, ripping them out of the packaging.

"_Baby, please don't hate me for this, but I honestly don't think coming to see your brother is going to help me... Please don't take that the wrong way."_

"_Honey, I totally understand, but that's not why I brought you here."_

I set the hot-wheels down in front of Thomas' gravestone, and one of the dozens of flowers sprawled out on the grass for him.

"_Then what are we doing here?"_

I pulled the sheet off the other tombstone.

* * *

_**Sam Teller**_

_**May 15**_

_**Mommy and Daddy's Angel**_

* * *

"_Oh my god... Jax..."_

"_Sam could be for Samuel, or Samantha... Since we never knew the gender."_

"_I love it... Oh my god... It's perfect..."_

She started to bawl. I knew she'd start to be okay soon though. I held her as close as I could, until she stopped crying as much.

"_Here Tara... Let's get these flowers around Sam's grave."_

She was very shaky, but took a dozen and started to spread them out while I did the same.

"_I have some more things to show you... I just wanted you to know we're always going to have our baby here... Tommy will take good care of Sam."_

We got back in the car, and she started to melt down again. I held her close and couldn't help the stray tear that came out of my eye.

"_I love you so much Jax..."_

"_I love you too babe... That's why I did this... It's time for you to be happy again. We're just now graduated from high school, even though we skipped getting our physical diploma for getting drunk last night. Now we can start to live again... We have Sam right here, I got the club, I got the job already at the garage, I just need to get certified. I can take care of us babe... We can work on another baby... Sam would want that. It would want Mommy to be happy again... to love again... to smile and laugh again..."_

"_We're gonna be okay Jax... I just need a little more time..."_

"_There's no rush... Now let's get to your other half of gifts..."_

"_Please no more surprises... I don't want to spill any more tears."_

"_It's a good surprise."_

"_Please just tell me."_

"_I'll partially tell you- you don't have to drive around your dad's Cutlass anymore. He has no bail, and I already have Big Otto working with some guys inside to get rid of him. And we won't be living with Mom and Clay anymore. I got us a place that's right by the clubhouse... And you have a jeep now."_

She gasped, and tears came again.

"_I told you we were taken care of. It's time for you to turn the page and start to be my Tara again. Start to plan the wedding or something. Now let's go."_

I wiped all her tears away and gave her a deep kiss before we headed off to check out the new house.

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**~Reviews please... Just wait for the next chapter... My inner Kurt Sutter is coming out to play.~**


	9. Chapter 9

**JAX POV**

"_You gonna be okay babe? I'll be back in like an hour or two."_

"_Yeah, I'm just gonna finish unpacking the bedroom. I'm pretty sure you got more clothes than me."_

"_That's what happens when Gemma shops for me... She always gets too much. Okay, I can't be late for visitation or else it will be another week before I get to Otto."_

"_Okay, be safe please."_

"_Of course. Opie should be here in 10 or 15 minutes to hang out with you. Put him to work, it'll be good for him."_

"_Will do."_

I rode to Stockton to talk to Otto. He was going to give me news on how Tara's dad was adjusting to prison life.

"_It's done."_

I couldn't believe what he said.

"_What? What are you talking about?"_

"_The deal is done. Word gets around quick here. Guys in here don't take too well to new guys, especially ones in here who beat women, or kill babies. Which he did both. The three guys working kitchen duty this week got him during shift change... Ass raped him 'til he was bleeding. Then slit his throat with the knife they use to cut up the vegetables."_

"_Jesus Christ."_

"_How's she holding up?"_

"_She's getting there. We're getting married soon."_

"_Jax, don't do that to yourself. Married pussy is boring pussy. You gotta live some before you get into that kind of shit."_

"_She's the one Otto. It's the best thing I've ever decided to do besides being in the club."_

"_Alright alright. It's your life. I'm just in here. Although I met with the warden today. I might be able to get out in 10 months on parole if I behave. Tell Luann that for me."_

"_Of course."_

"_Take care, brother."_

"_Yeah, you too."_

I got home, and Opie's bike wasn't in the driveway, but Tara's jeep was still in the same spot. When I got inside, she was sitting at the kitchen table figuring out wedding plans.

"_Where's Ope?"_

"_I told him to just go back to Donna's... I'm fine Jax."_

"_You sure?"_

"_Of course baby."_

"_So what are up to?"_

"_Weddings... What colors are we gonna have?"_

"_Tara, that's all up to you. You pick whatever you want."_

"_It's your wedding too..."_

"_I like blue..."_

"_Blue and black."_

"_Perfect. Tara, I have something to tell you."_

"_Oh yeah, how was visitation?"_

"_Your dad is dead."_

"_What?!"_

"_He is dead. Blacks offed him."_

Tara sat there in silence for a bit. I went over to rub her arm.

"_I'm fine... Jax, is it bad I'm not sad? I feel so relieved..."_

"_He beat you. I'm glad you feel relieved."_

"_He can't hurt me anymore..."_

"_Of course not. He got what he deserved. I love you so much Tara."_

"_Yeah, I know. I love you too... Now back to the wedding plans..."_

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**~Reviews please!~**


	10. Chapter 10

**TARA POV**

3 months had passed. I was neck deep in wedding stuff, and Jax was neck deep in club stuff, so we didn't see much of each other besides night time, and some weekends. The day before the wedding, I got some news I wasn't expecting, and I didn't really know how to share it with people. We had the rehearsal dinner, then Jax and I went our separate ways for the night. I was in a hotel room with Gemma and Donna while Jax went to party at the clubhouse with all the guys. Gemma and Donna were each 4 shots in and kept pressuring me to just take one, but I couldn't. I was just so nervous. They went to go flirt with the manager at the front desk when I left to go to the place I had spent much of my time lately- Sam's grave. I sat against the stone, picking at the grass beside me.

"Sam... Mommy and Daddy are getting married tomorrow... But Mommy is pregnant. You're gonna have a little brother or sister in 7 months. Daddy doesn't know yet, but I just have a feeling he won't react well. This was a lot sooner than we had planned. I'm more scared to tell him about the baby than I am to marry him tomorrow. Maybe that's bad of me. I don't know what to do..."

I had the a copy of the ultrasound in the car that I put in a card for Jax.

"_**Happy wedding eve... **_

_**Didn't know how else to tell you... I didn't want you to be mad at me.**_

_**I love you either way.**_

_**-T**_

I called Jax.

"_Everything alright babe?"_

"_Um... I just wanted to see you again. Think you can meet at Sam's grave?"_

"_Yeah, of course. I'll be there ASAP."_

I sat in my jeep while I waited for what seemed forever for Jax to come. When he got there, he walked up to my window, so I rolled it down.

"_What is it?"_

"_Just got a lot of nerves. I wanted to see you again. This is the first time sleeping apart since I got out of the hospital. Kind of weird."_

"_I can come sleep with you at the hotel tonight. Everyone is just drunk at the clubhouse anyways."_

"_Yeah, your mom and Donna too. Anyways, I got you a little gift... Don't open it until you get back to the apartment at the clubhouse, alright?"_

"_Okay babe. I love you. I can't wait for our big day tomorrow."_

"_Mmm, me neither."_

I handed him the envelope then drove off as fast as I could. I felt so sick. I wasn't sure if I could go through with the wedding anymore. Of course I loved Jax... More than anyone in the world, besides the babies, but I didn't want Jax to be mad at me for getting pregnant so early... We were planning on waiting another 6-12 months, but oh well... Too late now. I got back to the hotel room. Gemma was asleep on her bed, and Donna was passed out on the couch. I threw up into the toilet, twice. Then my phone rang. I knew it was Jax. With trembling fingers, I answered it as I rested up against the shower, breathing heavily.

"_H-Hello?"_

"_Tara... You're pregnant?"_

"_Just at 12 weeks today... I'm sorry. I didn't know what to tell you..."_

"_Are you not happy about it? Tara, I'm ecstatic. It's gonna be great!"_

"_Really? Jax... I just didn't want you to be mad..."_

"_Mad, why would I be mad?"_

"_Because I lost Sam, then here I am pregnant again."_

"_It wasn't your fault... Your dad killed Sam. You had no control over it."_

"_I know, but still..."_

"_Still nothing... I'm not mad Tara. I love you, and I love our kids. We'll save Gemma from the heart attack. We'll be married when this baby comes. Sam is proud of you Tara."_

I couldn't stop the tears that started to flow.

"_Jax... I miss you..."_

"_Do you need me to come see you?"_

"_I don't want to ruin your last night of freedom."_

"_You wouldn't be ruining it. And it's not a bad thing either."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yeah, I'll come by for a while, okay? Maybe stay with you until you fall asleep. I'm so proud of you Tara. Our baby is so beautiful already."_

"_Like its father."_

"_More like you baby girl. Okay, I'm about to get on my bike. I'll see you in a bit. Love you babe."_

"_Love you too Jax."_

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**~Reviews please~**


	11. Chapter 11

**TARA POV**

It was the big day. Like any wedding being entirely funded by Gemma, it was all what she planned. Hell, Jax and I were pretty much there to just say our vows, since Gemma had made the wedding like her own. The wedding was to take place at the clubhouse, out on the loading dock, followed by the reception inside. I barely slept last night. I dozed off for a while when Jax came. I heard him leave somewhere around 3 and 4... Now it was 11 a.m., and the ceremony started at 1 p.m. Gemma had some of the classier crow eaters do my hair, while she did my makeup. Whenever we put on my dress, Gemma noted that it didn't fit right like the time we bought it, and implied that I was getting "chunky"... Thank you Gemma, just the words I want to hear on my wedding day. I wasn't sure when Jax planned on telling people I was pregnant, so I just stayed quiet. The ceremony was very sweet and intimate, with the normal SAMCRO vows from the bikers to their old ladies, with everyone saying with with him.

"_**I promise to treat you as good as my leather, and ride you as much as my Harley."**_

When Jax said it, my face got beet red. We then shared our first kiss as a wedding couple, and went inside for the reception. We went around to everyone, thanking them for coming, and Jax kept an arm around my waist the entire time, letting his hand roam up to my stomach more times than I cared for him to. When we went to walk over to Opie and Donna, Jax finally made the comment that sent me over the edge.

"_Your dress is a bit tight on you now, huh babe..."_ He said it with a smile on his face. I know he meant it as it not fitting because I'm pregnant, but still... It was just part of the hormones that I couldn't control, giving me random mood swings.

"_What do you expect, I'm 12 weeks pregnant!"_

"_Babe, come on."_

"_No... I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone."_

I said it loud enough for Opie and Donna to hear, but quiet enough for no one else to. I stormed off into Clay's apartment to change into my reception dress, which would be better because it was loose and flowy, so no one would care about my stomach. When I got back out, Jax was waiting in the hall for me.

"_Tara, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it in a bad way."_

"_I know you didn't... I can't control my emotions today..._ I'm just so exhausted.. I'm ready for this to be over and for us to head to Hawaii for the honeymoon."

We walked hand and hand out to everyone again and had our first dance, then sat down for dinner.

"_Think Gemma's gonna be okay letting her baby boy go?"_

"_Nope... But she'll get over it... She'll survive. She had Clay... They're still in their honeymoon stage, even after being married for 3 years."_

"_Think we'll be in the honeymoon stage after three years?"_

"_No doubt about it... Probably way longer than that, if not forever."_

**~Reviews please~**


	12. Chapter 12

**TARA POV**

Opie kept watching Jax and I ever since he overheard me snapping at Jax about being pregnant. I was worried he'd say something to Gemma before we did, so I told Jax he either needs to tell Opie to be quiet, or to figure out a way to announce it to everyone. It was after the mother-son dance Gemma and Jax did when he told everyone, and it wasn't in a way I agreed with. He got Tig to whistle really loud, and Clay turned the music off for Jax to speak.

"_As you all may or may not know, about three and a half months ago, Tara was hospitalized after being beaten nearly unconcious... by her own father. With the help of my mother, and best friend Opie, and Clay, we helped her heal as much as we could. A lot of the time, it was so hard. Ever since Tara and I first got together, I've been able to make her smile and laugh more than ever, and for a while, there was none of it... When her father beat her, he killed our first child. Tara miscarried our baby that we named Sam, for Samuel or Samantha... She was only about 7 or 8 weeks along. We got a gravestone for the baby, and put it next to my baby brother's grave. Now, Tara gave me an amazing wedding gift last night... One that I wasn't expected but was thrilled when I saw it... An ultrasound of another baby... Tara is about 12 weeks pregnant. It's perfect timing right now... We graduated a few months ago, moved into our own house, and now we're married. We just wanted to share the news with you all... Another generation of badass bikers is in production, and I couldn't dream of a better, stronger, or more beautiful girl make it with."_

Everyone looked straight at me, and I gave all a sheepish smile. I didn't like that Jax had said all that. Jax came over and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"_I wish you hadn't told them all of that."_

"_They're our family babe... They care about you... Now Clay and I have something for you... He insisted on it."_

"_Jax, no more surprises..."_

"_Hush woman..."_

Again the music stopped. I was getting so annoyed.

"_I have another announcement... Now I shared the news with all the members, how bloody and painful Tara's dick head father went out... If you ask me, he still deserved worse. Anyways, Tara's dad being dead has it to where she has no father to have a father-daughter dance with... Next in line if I had it my way, would be for her to dance with my father, but he's dead too. Next best thing we have is my stepdad, the club President, Clay... Clay insisted on doing the father-daughter dance with Tara since now he's her (step) father in law. I didn't want Tara to miss out on something that's so important to a girl on her wedding day. Half way through the song, I'll finish it out with her."_

My eyes started to sting with tears, but I blinked them away, and had the father-daughter dance with Clay. After more dancing and the cake, it was finally time for Jax and I to leave for our honeymoon. Gemma had gotten a limo to drive us to the airport, all decorated in "Just married" stuff. The limo ride was long, and I was tired. Jax of course, was buzzed from all the shots he did at the wedding, even though I was making him drink soda in hopes of him sobering up. When we made it to the airport, we went straight through security, checked our bags in and watched them go off on the conveyor belt, then we got onto the plane. I woke up to the warm Hawaii sun setting. Jax and I had fallen asleep on the flight over. It was about 7 p.m Hawaii time when we touched down, so that means it was 10 p.m California time, so all of SAMCRO was probably still enjoying our reception. I was pleased to find Jax waking up sober. We made it to our hotel, and even though we were past exhaustion, we still found time to make love not once... or twice... 5 times before falling into a deep sleep for the first night of being a married couple.

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**~Reviews please~**


	13. Chapter 13

**JAX POV**

We walked around the little shops in Hawaii for a while. There was this Samoan in a truck that looked at me, or rather my kutte, for longer than I cared for him to. I told Tara we needed to go eat. He drove off after that. I was a bit paranoid after that, but we spent the rest of the day shopping and on the beach. We made it back to our room for another night of making love 3 times, then falling asleep, Tara tucked in my arms.

**OFFICIAL 911 CALL:**

**Dispatcher: 911, What is your emergency? **

**Caller: I am calling from the Maui Beach Resort. I'm staying in room 314. There was a loud banging noise, followed by two gunshots.**

**Dispatcher: Where did you hear the gunshots?**

**Caller: The room next to me. 316**

**Dispatcher: Police and paramedics are on the way. Please alert the hotel manager.**

I woke up in a hospital bed, Tara in the bed across the room from me. A nurse smiled at me.

"_Good afternoon Mr. Teller. Why, I thought you'd never wake up."_

"_Um... What happened? Why are we in here?"_

"_Mr. Teller... You both were shot last night. One shot each, right in the stomach."_

"_Jesus fucking christ... The baby."_

"_Yes, that too... I'm sorry, but your wife lost the baby."_

"_Again! This keeps happening."_

"_Please keep it down. I understand your pain, and I'm sorry. You should be able to get out soon. We were able to go into the both of you and removed the bullet successfully. We had to removed the dead baby too. If it makes you feel better, the baby was a boy."_

"_How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better?! My kid is dead! My wife and I were both shot!"_

"_I'm so sorry... Please relax, or we'll have to sedate you. I have to go get your wife's charts. I'll be back."_

Tara sit up slowly, tears streaming down her face.

"_I'm sorry Jax... I can't do this."_

"_Do what? Baby we're gonna be okay..."_

"_We lost yet another kid... Not even married for a week, and we've both been shot. This isn't the life I'm supposed to live... I should be in college.. I shouldn't be married to some outlaw biker, trying to have a family. I'm barely even 18."_

"_Tara... Please..."_

"_I just can't... I need to get my life straight. I'm gonna call in a lawyer... I want to get an annulment... I just can't be with you, or around you and the club anymore. I've lost 2 babies over the past 6 months, barely graduated... You do what you want, but I'm gonna establish a good life for myself."_

"_This is bullshit."_

"_We were shot last night Jax... I'm going to literally lose my mind if I keep losing babies, and if I keep getting hurt."_

"_Fine then, betray me one day into marriage."_

"_At least I didn't cheat on you with a bunch of whores."_

"_I still came back to you."_

"_I don't want your dick if it's in other bitches. This life is no life for kids to be born into anyways."_

"_Whatever. This was the biggest regret of my life."_

"_Ditto."_

She closed the curtain, dividing the room into two, just like that. I heard two metal things drop against the floor. I knew they were her rings. I did the same to my wedding ring.

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**~Reviews please~**


	14. Chapter 14

**TARA POV**

It had been 3 months since David died, two months since I had Olivia, and one month since I had decided to move from Lodi back to Charming. So much had happened over the 5 years Jax and I had separated. I couldn't bring myself to go through with the annulment. It was never that I stopped loving him. It was more of a rude awakening I got. Us being so young, and trying to do stuff real adults do, it wasn't working. It led to me losing two babies, and to us both getting shot. I knew better than to try and make Jax choose between the club and me, especially since I knew which he'd choose. So instead, I moved away, got into a technical college, and got my associate's degree in ultrasound technology. I had a little apartment in Lodi. I drowned myself in work. I'd always work extra hours at the hospital, just to busy myself. 2 years into the separation, Gemma's heart flaw started to flare up, and ultimately led to her death after going under cardiac arrest. About 4 years into our separation, I started to hook up with David Hale again. It would be at random times, but usually I had to get a few drinks into myself before letting him enter me. He was no Jax... He didn't feel as good, and didn't satisfy as well as Jax did. But me hooking up with David was how I was blessed with my beautiful baby girl. Olivia Grace Teller. My last name was still Teller, and there was no way in hell I'd have Olivia take the sperm donor's last name... That's all David was. He was really possessive over me when I told him I was pregnant, and he started to get abusive... That's how I came in contact with Opie again. He paid the Mayans to kill David during some staged shooting when he was on call. My landlord was getting complaints from neighbors about Olivia crying, and told me I had 6 weeks to relocate before I was evicted. Opie was helping me find a place to stay, but ultimately kept leading me to talking to Jax again. Technically, we were still married, so it would make sense to live with him, and to be with him, but it was just too much for me to think about, especially trying to figure out how to be a mother for real. Opie had told me how Jax knocked up some ex-junkie who relapsed when she was 7 months pregnant, so his baby was born two months early. But that was a while ago. His son was born 14 months before Olivia was. That's what made me even more hesitant about coming into contact with him again. We each had a kid with other people, even though we were married. It'd be rather awkward. But that didn't keep me from really wanting to see him. I wanted to know how he was doing... if he looked the same... smelt the same... felt the same... laughed or smiled the same... I missed him so much. I was at Opie's house one day with him, Donna, and their 4 and 3 year old kids, Ellie and Kenny. Opie had told me that Jax was on his way over with his baby, so I should get on my way with Olivia. I wanted to see Jax. Just to see him living. I told Opie that I'd wait, and that I'd have to face Jax some day. I walked outside to get the diaper bag out of my jeep when a truck pulled up. It was Jax. Automatically, I started to regret sticking around. He started to get out of the truck. I slammed my trunk shut.

"_Hey Tara."_

"_I'm sorry. I was just leaving."_

I was walking fast back inside, but I felt his strong hand wrap around my wrist and hold me back.

"_Don't go."_

"_This was a mistake... I shouldn't be here... I'm sorry."_

"_No... I'm happy you're here... Tara, we need to talk. It's been so long..."_

"_I have to get back to Olivia..."_

"_Olivia?"_

"_My daugher... Yeah... Long story..."_

"_I have a son now."_

"_So I heard... by some junkie whore."_

"_Yeah... Condom broke... But he's a great little boy... 16 months old now. He'd love to meet you."_

"_Jax, I don't know..."_

"_Hold on, let me get him out."_

I watched him walk back to the truck, and get out his little blonde hair, blue eyed beauty.

"_Meet Abel."_

The baby gave me a huge grin, much like his father's, but with a whole lot of slobber.

"_Aww, hi Abel... You're so cute..."_

"_He's great. So well mannered. He doesn't talk yet though besides saying dada for me, and baba for bottle."_

"_Ehh, all babies develop at different times... Want to meet my princess?"_

"_Oh definitely."_

I went inside, and got Olivia, and carried out the car seat after telling Opie and all them bye. Jax was sitting in the grass with Abel toddling around him.

"_Here she is."_

I handed her to him.

"_Wow Tara... She's gorgeous... She looks just like you."_

"_Yeah, I know... My baby pictures are identical to what she looks like right now."_

"_Yeah I bet... Hey, wanna come over for a little while?"_

"_I don't know about that."_

"_You still have a few boxes of some things you left... I never got an address to send them to, so they're just getting all dusty in the closet."_

"_Oh... Well yeah okay, I'll come over. Olivia needs a nap though."_

"_She can use Abel's crib."_

"_Oh okay. I'll follow behind you guys."_

"_Sounds good."_

We loaded up into our separate cars, and drove to his house. I was honestly shocked when we pulled up at the same house we had gotten together all that time ago. When we parked, I got out and held Olivia in my arms, a bit speechless.

"_Something wrong darlin'?"_

"_I just didn't expect you'd still be living here... Everything looks the same."_

"_I kept it that way... Hoping someday you'd find your way back to me... Or to at least the house... It's our home... I lied about you having boxes here... Everything you left behind is still in the same spot... Got some of your clothes, pictures, your mom's jewelry... All kinds of miscellaneous stuff too."_

"_Oh."_

"_Anyways, come inside. I'll show you to Abel's nursery to lay the princess down, okay?"_

"_Okay."_

When we walked inside, everything looked the same as when I left it... Except the pictures on the fridge changed from just me and Jax to pictures of Abel too. I followed him to the room across the hall from our old one. It had blue walls, and Abel's crib had a motorcycle mobile hanging from it.

"_Alright, just lay her in there. I'll be out in the kitchen giving Abel a snack."_

"_I'll be out in a second... Hey, do you think you could make some coffee?"_

"_Black with two sugars, right?"_

"_You got it."_

He carried Abel out, and I tucked Olivia in.

"_Sleep well gorgeous. Mommy loves you."_

I made my way out to the kitchen. Jax was putting some animal crackers on Abel's tray, but when Abel saw me, he started to whine and pout, and he reached his arms out for me. I looked at Jax.

"_Oh... Yeah, just hold him. He's a sucker for beautiful women... Kid's got more game than his old man."_

"_Anyone having more game than the infamous Jackson Teller? Puhhhhleeez."_

We both laughed, then he handed me my cup of coffee.

"_So how've you been Tara? Where have you been?"_

"_Lodi... I got my associate's degree in ultrasound technology. Hooked up with David Hale.. That's how Olivia came into the picture. He was an over-controlling, abusive prick. I don't miss him."_

"_Oh yeah, I remember him getting killed. Pretty awesome."_

"_For me, yes... Saved me a lot of headaches. Olivia is better with just a mother rather than that prick as a father."_

"_I totally agree with that...I've stayed the same... Still a mechanic, still in the club, just with a kid."_

"_Now Abel... Who's his mom?"_

"_Well it was Wendy. She overdosed and died, but they were able to save my boy."_

"_Well thank God for that."_

"_Definitely."_

"_You know... It's not that I didn't want to be with you... I needed to establish something for myself..."_

"_We had kids together Tara..."_

Abel shifted in my arms, and Jax just handed me a bottle to give him.

"_Yes, but anyone can have kids... What we had was poisonous for ourselves during that time."_

"_We got married... I couldn't help that we got shot. I couldn't help that we lost Sam and the baby boy... Oh yeah, I got a gravestone for him too... To help me fill your absence, I had the kids... Next to Thomas and Sam is Liam..."_

"_You really did that?"_

"_Yeah... Liam Teller... My mom helped pick the name... We're both Irish after all."_

"_It's a good name."_

I didn't know what I was getting myself into... We had been through so much, and I didn't want that pain again. But I guess I'm a masochist. The pain would be something I'd learn to love if I was with Jax again. He made everything better. We just had a connection too deep and too strong for anyone to comprehend except for Jax and I.

"_I'm gonna go lay little man down in the bed, I'll be right back."_

I sat there, drinking my coffee, not knowing what to say. Jax came back in, leaning against the door frame.

"You know Tara, the couch is comfier that the kitchen chairs... Let's go talk in the living room."

"_Yeah, okay."_

I sat down in what used to be my usual spot on the couch, and Jax sat right next to me, a bit closer than I had expected. I turned to face him, and he gazed into my eyes, leaning in for a kiss. I kissed him back. The feeling I got was unlike any other. It was so perfect, but also so imperfect. I pulled away quickly.

"_I'm sorry... I just can't."_

He reached for my hand and held it silently, then of course, kissed the top of my head, watching me carefully. I thought for a bit to myself, and realized I wasn't about to turn him down. It had been too long. I needed my husband back. I reconnected our lips, and we went on kissing, until the kissing turned to stripping, and then he was about to make his grand entrance after 5 long years.

"_Condom, Jackson."_

He sighed.

"_Really?"_

"_I'm not ready for us to get that close so fast again..."_

It was really more of knowing I'd more than likely get pregnant again, and the past two times I was pregnant with his kid, they were killed, and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that. He sighed again, even heavier.

"_Okay... Fine."_

He walked to the kitchen, surprisingly, and came back with a condom on. We then made love for the first time in a long time. After we both enjoyed our releases, we laid on the couch, wrapped up in blankets.

"_I think we should talk about us Jax... What we're gonna do... With us, with our kids..."_

"_Well I'd like for us to be a couple again... For you to be my old lady again."_

I felt his hand go to my lower back, tracing over the crow.

"_I know... I was wrong for leaving the way I did..."_

"_You did what you had to, it's fine."_

"_What are we gonna do with Abel and Olivia? Abel has no mom, and Olivia has no dad."_

"_Quick question, what is Olivia's last name?"_

I felt my cheeks get hot, knowing I was blushing.

"_Teller... I mean, I wanted her to have my last name, not the asshole who gave me her."_

"_And what is my last name?"_

"_Teller."_

"_Who is the father of your first two kids?"_

"_You..."_

"_And who is Abel's father?"_

"_You..."_

"_And who would it make sense to be Olivia's father if we're gonna be together?"_

"_You... I mean..."_

"_No, that's right."_

"_Jax, I can't ask that of you."_

"_I want to Tara... She looks nothing like David. She's your baby..."_

"_But what about Abel?"_

"_He already likes you... If you're gonna be with me..."_

"_I want to do it... You know, David's name isn't on Olivia's birth certificate. He died before she was born... You could always, you know, adopt her as your own."_

"_Just like you could do with Abel... I wasn't gonna tie that junkie to my son."_

"_Well then that's settled."_

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**~Reviews please! Lol what a long chapter... My brain hurts now.~**


	15. Chapter 15

**JAX POV**

Tara left with Clay to go get the rest of the boxes from her apartment, and some other boxes from storage to bring back to our house since she was moving back in. That led to me being at home with Abel and Olivia. Abel would just play around with his tonka trucks, but Olivia was still too tiny. She needed to be held a lot since we didn't have her baby stuff at the house yet. She was so fussy with me. She wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, and would cry if I tried to set her down. I started to think I was getting in way over my head with all this. I couldn't even watch her for a few hours, how was I supposed to be her dad? Abel was one thing, but Olivia was a totally different thing. She wasn't really my kid. She didn't even like me. How was this supposed to work? I was trying so hard to get her happy for when Tara got home, so I could prove myself to Tara as a parent, but so far I was failing miserably. When I heard her car pull up, I knew I had lost. Tara would come in and see Olivia all upset, and she'd never trust me with her every again.

**TARA POV**

When I walked through the front door, I heard Olivia fussing, and Jax pleading with her to eat her bottle. It was kind of cute in a way... He was begging a two month old for cooperation. I set my purse down, and walked over to them. Abel had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the T.V, and Jax looked like he was losing his mind.

"_I can't get her to sleep... or to even eat... She wants you."_

He held her out to me so I took her in my arms, starting to feed her.

"_She's never been this way before."_

"_I thought I could do it babe... Abel was so easy... I just can't with Olivia."_

"_You just have to test things out... See what works best between the both of you."_

"_It's not that easy."_

"_So what are you gonna do Jax? Give up on my daughter?"_

He sat there for a bit looking at his hands.

"_She just isn't comfortable with me. I've tried everything."_

"_How do you hold her?"_

"_Well, sitting up in my arm. That's how I did it with Abel."_

"_Olivia doesn't like that. She likes to be laying down in your arm so she can gaze up at you."_

"_Oh."_

"_And for her to fall asleep on you, she needs to be either on her side or on her stomach. So laying against your chest but facing you, or at a side angle in your arms."_

"_Well, you could've told me that."_

"_Hey, you're the one with a 16 month old, I'm the one with a two month old."_

"_They're ours together."_

"_Well soon. Did you sign your parts? We just have to get them notarized."_

"_Yeah, they're on the dresser."_

"_Hey... What did you ever do with our rings? Sell them?"_

"_Nah. They're with your mom's jewelry."_

"_I want them back... And I want you to wear yours."_

"_I will babe."_

"_And here, take our girl... She's ready to try it again with Daddy."_

He looked a bit uncertain, but took her like how I was holding her, and she continued to feed like it was never an issue. I was off to take back my beautiful rings that I missed so much. Jax was mine again.

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**~Reviews please~**


	16. Chapter 16

**TARA POV**

It was my first day at St. Thomas, so that meant it was Jax's first day with both kids alone. What did this make for? A very nervous mommy, and a very desperate daddy. I had a day full of meetings, so my phone was off, until lunch time when I got the missed call and voicemail from Jax. Sure sometimes I'd miss a call, but he'd never leave me voice mails... I knew something was wrong.

_**Hey babe... **_

_**Got some shit to deal with for the club... Think you can leave early and come watch the kids?**_

_**Love you.**_

My heart sank into my stomach. I swear he was gonna give me a heart attack. I called him back, but there was no answer... So I called another four times, still no answer. Next was to call Opie.

"_Hey Tara."_

"_Opie, is Jax with you?"_

"_He's inside the barn... Closed meeting with Irish. I'm standing guard outside with a prospect."_

"_WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN?!"_

Shots were being fired off into the distance, I could hear it.

"_In the car..."_

"_God dammit!"_

**JAX POV**

I was having a nice Daddy day with Abel and Olivia until Clay called me in because there was some drama with the Irish.

"_Clay, I have the kids, I can't."_

"_They're gonna kill us... We need you here. Get Tara to watch them."_

"_I can't, she's in meetings. She won't answer the phone."_

"_We're gonna die, Son. Like I saw, we need you here. Do whatever it takes to get here."_

He hung up on me. There was no choice. I had to take the kids with me to the warehouse. When I got there, I parked the truck on the right side of the warehouse, between two trees. They had fallen asleep, so I left the windows rolled down, and told Opie to keep an eye on them. As soon as I opened up the big doors, guns started shooting.

**TARA POV**  
I hauled ass to the warehouse. How dare he do something so dangerous with my kids! I was more than livid. When I got there, Opie was standing out by the door, and none of the IRA members' cars were there. Jax, Clay, and the rest of the guys were walking out. When Jax saw me, he got the 'deer in a headlight' look. I charged him, shoving him back.

"_Are you fucking stupid?!"_

"_What Tara?!"_

"_You bring the kids here, with gunshots going off?"_

"_They're in the truck, it's not like they could be hurt."_

"_Truck or not, Jackson, they could've been killed! How could you be so reckless?!"_

"_Yeah, but I had no choice Tara, Clay really needed me..."_

"_Then you should've told Clay to go fuck himself! If you had no one to watch the kids, you needed to do it, and away from the club!"_

"_That's enough."_

I couldn't control my rage. We got all up in each other's faces.

"_You're a bad father!"_

"_You're an even worse mother!"_

He had gone too far. I smacked him across the face as hard as I could, and went to do it again, but Opie was pulling me away, while Clay and Bobby were holding Jax back. I fought it momentarily, but I finally recollected myself to get the kids, and move them from the truck to my car, being sure to speak loud enough for Jax to hear.

"_Come on babies, let's go home with Mommy since Daddy thinks it's a good idea to go out and try to get you two killed."_

Jax looked over at me when I was buckling Abel in.

"_You aren't taking my son anywhere!"_

I let out a brief sarcastic laugh.

"_He's my son too now, don't you forget it!"_

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**~Part two up some time tomorrow, please leave a review~**


	17. Chapter 17

**JAX POV**

I took the long way home, making sure I stayed out until sun down. When I got home, Tara was sitting at the kitchen table, filling out paperwork for her new job. I sat down next to her. She set her pen down on the table and just stared at the papers.

"_No more Daddy days... I can't trust that they're safe with you anymore because you let the club whip you away at any moment."_

As much as her words where true, they stung.

"_I'm still their father Tara... I know I was wrong, but I made a judgment call. Clay and the guys needed me or else they'd die."_

She slammed her hands down on the table.

"_THEN THEY DIE! You don't risk our babies' lives for people who put themselves in danger every single day by doing illegal bullshit!"_

"_Clay is like a father to me... Clay saved me from the wreck I was when my dad died. He took me on as his own and helped Gemma raise me. I'm sorry I did what I did, but Clay needed me... It's not like I could turn my back on him after all that he has done for me."_

"_I know all that Jackson. It doesn't change the fact our children could have been killed because of your bullshit responsibility to your club!"_

I was trying to stay calm and quiet the entire time, being sure to not let my voice raise in the slightest.

"_I know, and I am sorry."_

She started to relax some, and finally looked up at me. My face was still a bit swollen from where she hit me.

"_I'm sorry I slapped you. I don't want you hurt."_

"_That didn't hurt Tara. What hurt more than anything was you calling me a bad father... Do you really think that? What I said- I don't think that. I just said that 'cause I was mad."_

"_Today, yes. I truly believe a man who put his children first wouldn't have done what you did. But overall you're an amazing dad. I just think if you made that mistake once, it can happen again, and I don't know if that makes you a good Daddy to our babies. I think it's something you need to work on. You're amazing with them Jackson. Although, every good thing you have done with or for those kids was erased today. If Gemma saw the situation you put her grandson in, she'd be rolling in her grave."_

It was the truth. All I could do was nod.

"_Can you forgive me babe?"_

"_You shouldn't be worried about that. The real question here is can you forgive yourself?"_

She stroked the cheek she smacked softly, then walked off to go to bed.

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**~Reviews please... I know it was short, oh well.~**


	18. Chapter 18

**TARA POV**

It was the night before Thanksgiving. I had been working hard all day cooking all the food we'd be eating with the club tomorrow. I was also taking care of both Abel and Olivia, so I was more than exhausted. I couldn't wait for Jax to get home so we could go snuggle up in bed and go to sleep. It'd be our first real holiday together since being reunited. I had just removed the last casserole from the oven when Jax came through the front door. I went to turn around to give him a hug and kiss, but then my jaw dropped. He was bloodied and bruised.

"_What the hell Jax... Oh my god, what happened to you?"_

"_It's nothing..."_

"_NOTHING?! Jackson you're all beat up, it has to be SOMETHING!"_

"_Dammit Tara. Coming home bruised and bloody is part of the gig... It's always gonna be that way. Clay never heard a word about it from Gemma, and neither did JT."_

"_I'm not Gemma."_

"_You need to know your place and accept that if you are planning on accepting me for the rest of our lives. I don't understand what you are so pissed at. Do you know we wouldn't have half our fights if you kept your nose out of club business."_

"_How dare you! I have slaved over this hot stove all day for YOU and YOUR club while taking care of Olivia and YOUR son. I have a right to be concerned about my husband!"_

_He growled and punched a hole through the drywall in our kitchen, and started to get louder._

"_Do I have to keep repeating myself to you?! What aren't you hearing?! I am a member of this club for the rest of my life! This is how it is, and you know that!"_

I was so annoyed. I ran over to the counter, and threw the cranberry sauce on the ground, letting the glass dish shatter, and ran to get the pumpkin pies I made, but he yanked back on my arm, and flinched his hand up like he was gonna hit me. It broke my heart, but enraged me even more.

"_What are you gonna do? You gonna strike me? Big badass biker who abuses his wife?! But why should I expect anything less? I mean, this is 'THE LIFE', right?"_

Jax slammed his fists down onto the counter.

"_I am not gonna keep having this same fight with you, because this isn't the first time I've come home injured, and it won't be the last. You decide whether you want to continue to be here, and be with me. I love you Tara, with all my heart, but this is what it is. I was born into this, raised in it, and I accepted it as my lifestyle. It would be nice if you did too."_

"_I am not as strong as Gemma was, and I will never be able to will myself into this life. But I love you, I just wish you wouldn't get so angry at me when I'm upset you come home looking like you've been through a damn woodchipper."_

"_It works both ways Tara. Sometimes I just need to be left alone about the club. Don't you see what I try to do? I leave the club out there. Whatever happens, happens. But in here, when I come home, I am all yours, but I can't be when all you do is question me about club business. I appreciate all this- that you are contributing to the club, but babe please, once in a while, just don't ask."_

"_When you come home all beat up, that's bringing the club home, but yes, sure, I'll stay quiet."_

He went to go shower, and I just crawled into bed. I was drifting off to sleep when he crawled into bed and wrapped his arms around me. It scared me and I flinched wide awake, and I know he felt it.

"_Babe, relax. I'm not gonna hurt you."_

I just laid there while he started to kiss my shoulder, then collarbone, then up my neck. His hands started to roam. I knew he was trying to get more out of me. Just then, the baby monitor in Olivia's room started to go off. She was crying. I was saved by the cry. I went in there and sat with her on the futon, nursing her. Jax came in a minute after.

"_Jax... Your temper still scares me. You get so full of rage, and flip out on me. Forgive me for being rather sensitive, but you really did hurt my feelings. I just care so much about you. I know I'm not doing well adjusting to the old lady lifestyle, so I'm sorry to disappoint you."_

He sighed and stroked Olivia's back.

"_I'd really like for our first holiday back together to be a good and happy one. I'm sorry about earlier. Let me know what I have to do to make it better."_

I was blinking away the tears of hurt, frustration, and exhaustion. Olivia has fallen back asleep so I tucked her back in and adjusted my t-shirt. I took a second to observe Jax. He was obviously tired too, and had a nice black eye forming. There was only one thing to make me feel better in times like this, and it was Jax inside me. I took his hand and led him to the bedroom, where we started kissing and stripping down. He was hovering above me when he was about to make his grand entrance, but he grabbed my hips and started to turn me over onto my stomach.

"_Jax... W-What are you doing?"_

"_Please... Just one time let me take you from behind."_

"_Baby..."_

"_I want to be able to see your crow... It's hotter than you think it is... Especially with my name on it..."_

"_Jax... Are you sure?"_

"_Just this once..."_

I thought for a second then got up on my hands and knees. I was desperate, just needing to feel him one way or another.

"_Fine. Now hurry up, I can't wait forever."_

"_Mmm, me neither darlin'."_

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**~Reviews please... I'll update it tomorrow if it's good.~**


	19. Chapter 19

**JAX POV**

I briefly woke up in the middle of the night, and didn't feel Tara. I reached an arm out, and still nothing. I shot up wide awake in a panic. I looked over at the baby monitors since we had one in each of the nurseries. She was in Abel's room, rocking him in the chair. I took a minute to level out my breathing again. I had just automatically assumed she was hurt or got kidnapped. I put some boxers on and walked in there.

"_Hey babe..."_

"_Oh hi baby."_

"_You scared me... Thought something happened to you when I couldn't feel you in bed."_

"_I heard Abel start fussing and waking up when I got up to use the bathroom. I made him a small bottle, now I'm just waiting for him to fall back asleep... He's been fighting it off for a while."_

"_Babe, you could've woke me up. I would've gotten up and taken care of him."_

"_I was already awake, I didn't mind."_

"_Oh, well okay."_

"_Jax... You forgot something last night... I mean, I forgot too, but it's a big deal."_

"_Oh... the cranberry sauce. I'll go clean that up."_

"_No, to hell with the cranberry sauce. Something else."_

Now she was worrying me.

"_Then what is it?"_

"_A condom... We forgot a condom, and you came in me three times."_

"_Shit... Tara, I'm sorry."_

"_You know there is a good chance I can get pregnant though."_

"_So? Isn't that a good thing?"_

"_I wasn't really planning on getting pregnant again, or at least this soon... I mean with what happened the other two times I've gotten pregnant with your kid..."_

"_That was out of our control. We couldn't do anything about it babe. Times are different now."_

"_Yes, I know..."_

"_You may not even get pregnant... Don't timings and all have to match up?"_

"_Jax, you more than filled me up, there's no way I'm NOT gonna be pregnant..."_

"_Well it's gonna be okay baby... Granted we'll have to get another crib and one of our kids are gonna have to share with the baby."_

"_Jax, I want to get an abortion."_

My heart dropped down to my stomach.

"_No Tara... You can't. Why would you do that?"_

"_I don't think I can do it again... If I lose the baby, I'm gonna kill myself. Every child I have had with you gets brutally killed one way or another"_

"_You do realize none of that was my fault, right?"_

"_So you're saying it's mine?"_

"_I didn't say that either. Just don't think or speak so negative. Everything will be okay, we can make it work. I swear on my life, and on Gemma's and JT's graves, I won't let anything happen to you or the baby, I promise..."_

"_Alright. I guess I'll just have to believe you."_

"_Yes you will... Now Abel is asleep, let's go back to bed, we have a long day ahead of us... It's our first real holiday together babe."_

"_It sure is..."_

She handed me Abel, then went back to bed. When I went in there, she was laying there, waiting for me as she rubbed her stomach.

"_You alright there?"_

"_You told me to believe you, so I am... It'll be weird to have an actual baby bump with your child in it. I'm still surprised you found me attractive after having Olivia... I mean, I had a kid that wasn't yours... Gained a bunch of weight, I just wasn't yours exclusively anymore."_

I crawled in next to her and pulled her close.

"_All the weight has just gone into your boobs and butt, which is awesome. You bearing Olivia made your curves pop right out. You're more attractive now than ever... And Olivia is mine now, so the past is the past..."_

"_I love you Jackson."_

"_I love you too baby girl, now we both need sleep."_

"_Night baby."_

"_Night darlin'."_

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**~Reviews please... Thank you all for reading this story... Next chapter will be the Thanksgiving dinner, and you really won't want to miss it...~**


	20. Chapter 20

**TARA POV**

After we had our own family breakfast, we loaded up the truck with the babies and all the food I made, plus the new batch of cranberry sauce, and headed off for the clubhouse. I was so excited to be able to have dinner with all the guys, especially since all my hard work from the previous day would be paying off. When we all got our plates, I sat down between Abel and Jax so I could help him eat. Olivia had already nursed and was asleep in the stroller. Jax smiled at me and started to eat, making small talk with everyone. While I was helping Abel get the mashed potatoes off the front of his shirt, I heard Opie tell Jax he was glad I was back, but Clay felt differently. He gave his snide grin to Jax.

"_I don't know son, Tara must be a really good screw for you to continue to go back and put up with her uncertainty and fear of commitment. Especially since her turkey sucks."_

Tig started cracking up. I felt my cheeks get all hot as I started to blush.

"_Hey Jax, can I give her a go the next time she bails and comes back? I'd like to see for myself why you are so whipped."_

"_Oh yeah Tiggy? Is your punch as big as your mouth? Why don't we figure that out outside?"_

I grabbed onto his arm.

"_Please no... I don't want you guys fighting, it's gonna ruin the day."_

"_He needs to pay for disrespecting you and embarrassing you. It's already ruined."_

"_Jackson. No, and I mean it. I want a nice quiet meal without having to deal with blood and bruises for once."_

Tig chuckled again.

"_See what I mean?"_

Jax sat back down, and I could hear him kick Tig from beneath the table. I looked over at Jax again.

"_Behave... Now eat."_

"_Tara, it's not right."_

"_I can handle it. You all have been drinking, it'll turn into something way bigger than what it truly is."_

I finished eating, and helped Abel finish what food he was eating. The entire group settled into a very awkward silence. I stood up and hoisted Abel up onto my hip.

"_I'm gonna get the babies home and in bed. I'll see you later."_

I bent over and gave him a quick kiss, then set Abel into his part of the stroller. When I was pushing the stroller out of the clubhouse, I could hear Jax snap at them.

"_Thanks for fucking up the day. You all are pricks."_

I had just finished tucking Abel and Olivia in when I got into a bubble bath. I heard Jax come through the front door, and set down what sounded to be like his keys and gun into the tray in the front entry way, then he made his way to me.

"_I'm really sorry about all of that Tara... I don't know why they had to be such arrogant assholes to you."_

"_I'm fine, really. If anything, it's just helping me grow thicker skin. I'll need that since I'm sticking with you, which means sticking with your club."_

"_But still..."_

"_Still nothing... Jax, I don't know how I'm going to balance it all- you, the kids, the club, my job... I just can't find enough time for it all."_

"_We can hire a nanny, and I'll make sure the club stays their distance from you."_

"_I'm not talking about that... Maybe if I quit my job at St. Thomas, I can take over the managing of T.M like Gemma was doing. Opie and Donna have told me how you guys are so behind with a lot of things because none of you really know what to do... I spent enough time with Gemma, helping her in the office... I know what to do, plus I am a million times more organized and focused than all of you men combined. That way I'm with you, around the club, and I can have the kids there. Everything will work out."_

"_I can't ask that of you. You worked hard for your career... You even left me to get it, it's gotta be important to you."_

"_Yes, but my husband and children are more important than anything. I want to be close to you all."_

"_I'll agree to it on one condition. We get our vows renewed."_

"_Why? We're already married."_

"_Because we were separated... Had sex with people other than each other... There was a lot of time between us being reunited. It's like a fresh start... A clean page in our story of life."_

"_Fine... We can... But we're only having Opie and Chibs and Bobby at the renewal. Everyone else can fuck off. I'm gonna prove to them I'm around to stay... That I can be just as amazing as an old lady as I am a mother."_

"_Mmm, fine by me."_

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**~Reviews please!~**


	21. Chapter 21

**TARA POV**

Turns out I was pregnant... We had a baby boy we decided to name after Jax's baby brother Thomas. We were throwing Thomas's first birthday party in our backyard. It was all Elmo themed. Jax and I were sitting at the picnic table with our three kids, watching them eat cake. I smiled softly at Jax.

"_I'm surprised a baby we had finally made it to their first birthday... They usually don't make it outside of me."_

He choked a little on his beer.

"_What?"_

"_I honestly didn't think we had it in us... I mean after Sam and Liam..."_

"_Wow Tara."_

"_Huh?"_

His face got bright red and he clenched his jaw for a bit.

"_It would be nice if you had some faith in me as a father... Is that how you feel about me as a husband too? Can't keep my family alive?"_

"_Oh Jax... I didn't mean it like that."_

"_Uh, yeah, you did."_

"_Jax please..."_

"_No..."_

He looked down at the kids, and stood up, kissing each of them on the cheek.

"_Daddy loves all three of you."_

He walked out of his own son's birthday party, and I heard his Harley leave.

Jax never came home that night. I figured he had just gotten drunk at the clubhouse, and crashed there. The next day, I had left Abel and Olivia at home with our nanny named Brooke. I had a few things to do in my office at T.M, but then it was Thomas's twelve month check up, so I figured I'd just bring him with me. When I saw Opie, Chibs, and Jax's bikes all parked, I went into the clubhouse to see Jax and apologize for hurting his feelings. Opie was standing at the bar, and looked nervous when I walked in with Thomas on my hip. He gave me a sheepish smile.

"_He isn't here Tara."_

"_Yes he is."_

"_No... He just headed off to do a few errands."_

"_You're lying, his bike is outside."_

Just then it clicked... I stormed back to his apartment and swung open the door. There was Jax, in bed, naked. Then the dumbest slore of all time, Ima, came out of the bathoom in Jax's shirt! She gave me the hugest shit eating grin ever.

"_Mornin' darlin."_

There was a huge lump in my throat, and the tears started to sting my eyes. I walked out, slamming the door shut behind me, then I practically ran back outside into the car.

**JAX POV**

Shit... She walked in and saw Ima. After she stormed off, Ima started to paw at me again. I shoved her away.

"_Go home."_

I jumped up, getting my jeans and white tshirt on, slipping my shoes on, then ran out. Opie was blocking my way.

"_Ope, move! She's gonna leave."_

"_Well that's the best thing right now."_

I started to size him up, getting angry but then I knew he was right and walked back to the apartment. Ima was changing back into her skanky clothes.

"_Why aren't you gone yet?!"_

About 20 minutes later, I got a phone call from Unser. He got a call from a passerby of a car crash off the main bridge. Tara's jeep slammed into a tree. He said paramedics had rushed both Tara and the baby to the hospital. Both were unconscious and Thomas was having trouble breathing. It was all my damn fault.

**TARA POV**

I woke up half way to the hospital. Thomas was on a stretcher next to me. He looked like he was dying. They had an oxygen mask on him, and the defibrillators ready to use if needed. I started freaking out... Jax was gonna kill me if Thomas died. It was all my fault. When we got to the hospital, they treated me for minor cuts, but they had Thomas rushed into surgery to fix the crack in his skull he got, and to stabilize his heartbeat. I was standing outside his operating room, watching them do it. I heard someone walk up behind me. It was Jax. He had been crying.

"_God Tara... I'm so sorry... I'm such an ass for doing what I did."_

"_I caused it... For saying what I did yesterday..."_

"_No... It wasn't a big deal. This is my fault."_

He pointed at the window, in at Thomas.

"_It was an accident... I shouldn't have drove so upset. I couldn't see through my tears... I almost hit a car coming from the other way, so I swerved, and just went off the bridge."_

"_We'll get you a new car.. Don't worry. Thomas is going to be fine too. He has the healthy Knowles heart. He'll rebound like it was a skinned knee."_

"_Please don't be mad at me Jax..."_

"_Don't be mad at me either... I love you Tara... So much... I'll make it up to you... All that I did..."_

I just hugged him tight, glad to feel his arms wrap around me. We watched the rest of his surgery in silence, just things would be okay. When they wheeled Thomas into an actual room, Jax and I sat on the couch together, not really sure what to do. I just started to weep into Jax's shoulder... It was like I was failing in everything.

"_Tara please don't cry..."_

"_I'm a bad mom... a bad wife..."_

"_No you aren't baby... The kids love you. The wreck was my fault for making you upset. You're an amazing wife and mother..."_

"_If I was an amazing wife, you wouldn't have cheated on me!"_

"_I was being a drunk asshole. I'm sorry honey... Please forgive me..."_

"_Our son saw you Jax! He saw Daddy naked with another girl! What if it was Abel or Olivia?! They would actually understand you were with a different girl that isn't Mommy! How would you explain what you did to them?!"_

"_That their father is a stupid asshole, that messed up and doesn't deserve any of you guys, but I'm lucky enough to have you all."_

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**~Well, that was the end. I know it was a short story with an abrupt ending, but it's getting repetitive with the other stories I have. But I did start a new story "Coming to the Crossroads" yesterday, so please read that... Thank you all for supporting this story. There just isn't anything left to it anymore. It was good while it lasted. :) ~**


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